Mumlan Mumlar//Confusius say:

  1. Confucius say, virginity like bubble. One prick – all gone
  2. Confucius say, man who do business in whore house get jerked around
  3. Confucius say, gypsies got no babies because gypsies have crystal balls
  4. Confucius say, panties not best thing on earth, but next to it
  5. Confucius say, war not determine who right. War determine who left
  6. Confucius say, woman who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house
  7. Confucius say, man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night
  8. Confucius say, it take many nail to build crib, one screw to fill it
  9. Confucius say, man who keep feet on ground have trouble putting on pants
  10. Confucius say, if you want pretty nurse, you got to be patient
  11. Confucius say, passionate kiss like spider web, soon lead to undoing of fly
  12. Confucius say, better to be pissed off than pissed on
  13. Confucius say, man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day long
  14. Confucius say, couple on seven day honeymoon make whole week
  15. Confucius say, woman who go camping must beware of evil intent
  16. Confucius say, squirrel who runs up woman’s leg not find nuts
  17. Confucius say, man who run before bus get tired
  18. Confucius say, man who run behind bus get exhausted
  19. Confucius say, man with tool in woman’s mouth not necessarily dentist
  20. Confucius say, man who make love on side of hill not on level
  21. Confucius say, sex is like the army, the closer you are to discharge, the better you feel
  22. Confucius say, man with tight trousers is pressing his luck
  23. Confucius say, man who stand on toilet high on pot
  24. Confucius say, man who eat crackers in bed wake up feeling crummy
  25. Confucius say, man with hand in pocket all day not crazy, just feeling nuts
  26. Confucius say, man who sleep in bed of nails is holy
  27. Confucius say, do not drink and park, accidents cause people
  28. Confucius say, man who put pea in soup very unclean
  29. Confucius say, man who run through airport turnstile backward going to Bangkok
  30. Confucius say, boy who go to sleep with sex problem on mind wake up with solution in hand
  31. Confucius say, man who fishes in another woman’s well, often catches crab
  32. Confucius say, to meet girl in park is good, but to park meat in girl is better
  33. Confucius say, squirrel lay on rock and crack nuts, man lay on crack and rock nuts
  34. Confucius say, butcher who back into meat grinder get a little behind in his orders
  35. Confucius say, man who live in glass house, should change in basement
  36. Confucius say, man who shoot off mouth, must expect to lose face
  37. Confucius say, man with big mouth beware of foot
  38. Confucius say, man who fart in church, sit in own pew
  39. Confucius say, woman who fly upside down have crack up
  40. Confucius say, man who leap off cliff jump to conclusion
  41. Confucius say, man under wheelbarrow playing with tool, not necessarily mechanic
  42. Confucius say, house without bathroom is uncanny
  43. Confucius say, foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ
  44. Confucius say, man who sits on stool smells like shit
  45. Confucius say, man who throws dirt is losing ground
  46. Confucius say, woman who go to man’s apartment for snack, get titbit
  47. Confucius say, man who lay woman on ground, get piece on earth
  48. Confucius say, man who get kicked in testicles, left holding the bag
  49. Confucius say, man who kisses girl’s behind, get crack in face
  50. Confucius say, girl who ride bicycle, peddle ass all over town
  51. Confucius say, man with penis in peanut butter jar, fucking nuts
  52. Confucius say, man who buy drowned cat, get wet pussy
  53. Confucius say, man trapped in pantry, have ass in jam
  54. Confucius say, learn to masturbate – come in handy
  55. Confucius say, girl who sit on jockey’s lap get hot tip
  56. Confucius say, girl who sit on judge’s lap get honorable discharge
  57. Confucius say, waitress who sit on leper’s lap, keep tip
  58. Confucius say, man who snort coke, get bubbles up nose
  59. Confucius say, cow with no legs, ground beef
  60. Confucius say, two wrongs not make right, but two rights make U-turn
  61. Confucius say, baby born in car with automatic transmission, grow to become shiftless bastard
  62. Confucius say, finding old man in dark, not hard
  63. Confucius say, man who smoke pot, choke on handle
  64. Confucius say, OK for shit to happen – will decompose
  65. Confucius say, man with head on railroad track, listening for train to come, get splitting headache
  66. Confucius say, man who sneeze without tissue take matter into own hands
  67. Confucius say, secretary become permanent fixture, when screwed on desk
  68. Confucius say, man who drive like hell, bound to get there
  69. Confucius say, man who sit on tack, get point
  70. Confucius say, man who put cream in tart, not always baker
  71. Confucius say, woman who spend much time on bedspring, may get offspring
  72. Confucius say, sex on beach like American beer – fucking near water
  73. Confucius say, man who masturbate, only screwing himself
  74. Confucius say, woman who dance wearing jock strap, have make believe ballroom
  75. Confucius say, support bacteria – is only culture some people have
  76. Confucius say, man with athletic finger, make broad jump
  77. Confucius say, man who sit on upturned tack, rise above all
  78. Confucius say, wash face in morning, neck at night
  79. Confucius say, man who have last laugh, not get joke
  80. Confucius say, man who sleep with old hen, find it better than pullet
  81. Confucius say, man piss in wind, wind piss back
  82. Confucius say, man who eat pussy, do lip service
  83. Confucius say, girl who marry detective, like to kiss dick
  84. Confucius say, men may have more hair on chest than woman, but on the whole, women have more
  85. Confucius say, woman wearing G-string, high on crack
  86. Confucius say, virgin with thimble on finger, never feel prick
  87. Confucius say, man who pull woman’s bra strap, may get bust in face
  88. Confucius say, woman who pounce on dead rooster, go down on limp cock
  89. Confucius say, man who fall in vat of molten glass, make spectacle of self
  90. Confucius say, man who jump through screen door, strain self
  91. Confucius say, man who push piano down mine shaft, likely to get A flat minor
  92. Confucius say, man who put face in punchbowl, get punch in nose
  93. Confucius say, woman who sink in man’s arms, soon have arms in man’s sink
  94. Confucius say, man who put cock on stove, have hot rod
  95. Confucius say, man who fuck in cemetery may end up fucking dead
  96. Confucius say, man who jizz in cash register come into money
  97. Confucius say, man who drop watch in toilet have shitty time
  98. Confucius say, man who eat too many prunes, get good run for money
  99. Confucius say, man who finger girl having period get caught red handed
  100. Confucius say, man who go to bed with itchy butt wakes up with smelly finger

Om Peggy Bell of Sweden

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